No One Wants a Bone But A Dog

AH“Only black men like fat chicks.”

You’ve probably heard this phrase before, or encountered this stereotype on TV or in real life. As reports Robyn McGee in this article, there is a long-held trope that African American men tend to go for heavier ladies more regularly than other men. McGee even points out that the eponymous title of this post is, in fact, is a traditional saying in the African American community.

It is true that of all the guys that have hit on me in my life, most of them have been black (or Latino, the other stereotyped lover of the lumps.) But I have also been hit on by white guys and Asian men alike. In fact, I dated an Asian man at one point. However, just because I observe (in real like and in reel life) more black guys go for thicker women does not mean they are the only men that will.

Even more prolific is the idea that only African men will go for a heavy woman. Apparently, a full woman is most appreciated among African cultures. In this piece, Chux Ohai explores the phenomenon of why African men (particularly Nigerian) are attracted to fully-built women. Actually, it’s a pretty much a widely-held idea that heavy women are accepted and appreciated in any non-white culture (excluding East Asian) because of how being fatness relates to fertility and being able to take care of a family. Movies like Phat Girlz and Beauty Shop, in which both Prince Charmings happen to be African men just perpetuate this myth that only an African man can appreciate a “real” (read: fat) woman.

But notice that the women in these films (and others such as Last Holiday) are also black. No surprise there: it’s certainly not just African /Latino men who prefer a thicker woman. As described in this Washington Post piece, “women of color” are also much more accepting of their own bodies than white women. A fuller body is a stronger body, a body more capable of “handling a real man,” (whatever that means.) You won’t find a really popular white, heavy starlet as the lead in her own movie because a thick white woman is just not accepted in our society as much as a heavy black/Latina woman is. In this essay, Joseph Kerr notes that even as early as the turn of the 20th century, popular vaudevillian performer Sophie Tucker, a large woman and one of the most popular enterainers of her time, was forced to take on the “mammy” role in black minstrelsy shows because the audience would be more comfortable seeing a heavy woman play a black characters than a white character.

Talented women like Kate Winslet (once much curvier before she decided to shed some extra weight), Camryn Manheim, Marissa Jaret Winokur, (of Broadway’s Hairspray), Ricki Lake (erm, let’s forgo that talent thing for this one), Kirstie Alley, Roseanne Barr, Beth Ditto (lead singer of post-riot grrrl band The Gossip), Delta Burke, Kathy Bates, and countless other female performers are known for their weight issues before they are known for their acting (and singing) abilities. Contrast this to women like Janet Jackson, Aretha Franklin, Raven-Symone, Jennifer Hudson, Queen Latifah, and comedienne Mo’Nique who are noted for their talents before their thicknesses.

So back to the issue at hand. Is it true that it is rare for a white man to prefer big women compared to men of color? I wouldn’t go a far as to say “rare” (perhaps “rarer” would be more appropriate), but just from observation I would hold it to be true that a majority of white men just don’t appreciate a built woman the same way they would an athletic woman. This may not always be the case, as you will find fat admirers in any ethnicity, race, and culture, but I don’t doubt for a second that more black/Latino/Central-South Asian men have been attracted to me in my life than white men.

I theorize this may have a lot to do with the Industrial Revolution, when the need for large families dissipated. If a slim-hipped, slender woman becomes your wife, so what? She will only have to birth and take care of only a handful of children anyway, if that many.

So here I shall leave you with two of my favorite music videos, Sir Mixalot’s “Baby Got Back” and Anthony Hamilton’s “Sista Big Bones”, which I hope will illustrate my findings. Although there are certainly songs written by white men praising big women (many in a more comical than romantic/erotic way), I believe that these two songs depict a common, positive sentiment among African American men who are interested in larger women.



~ by Rob Anne on April 12, 2007.

13 Responses to “No One Wants a Bone But A Dog”

  1. […] b) A fat woman will only be able to find a(n) ______ (fat, ugly, classless, mannerless, etc.) man to marry because he’s the only type of guy who will accept her. It’s as much an accepted stereotype as the old idea that only a black/latino guy would go for a heavier woman. […]

  2. I Just can’t help my attraction but I just seem to be more attracted to Voluptous curvy (Not Fat!) Caucasian women.
    and Yes I’m African! The truth lies in different strokes different folks-there no need trying to set a standard we all just love what we love.I’d feel like a king walking down with my Voluptious ‘Drew Barrymore’ than a lady of bones ‘Nicole Kidman’.And finally I’m very slim and fit ,so perhaps it all lies in people wanting what the’ve not got.-Jermaine ,London

  3. A plate of neckbones? That’s horrible…what is that supposed to mean?!

  4. Much ado about nothing if you ask me. Men who prefer larg women prefer larger of all races and cultures but there is a minority of black men who prefer whiter bbw. It falls under the same self hate category as a “regular” black man who dates strictly white. Ala Quincy Jones, Tiger Woods,OJ Simpson, Marcus Allen, Micaheal Strahan, Tiki and Ronde Barber, Mike Singletary, Taye Diggs, Charles Barkley, Dennis Rodman, Bryant Gumbel, Deacon Jones, RObert Parish, Robert DeNiro..oops wrong list, at any rate the list is endless. They all equate the caucasian woman as the standard of beauty in this country discounting the race of the very women gave birth to these fools(slight exception in Tigers case). The black man who dates white BBW goes that next step, he sees white as ideal so more of this ideal must be better. More is better and most is bestest of all!

  5. I’m REALLY interested in where you got your title from. What inspired it? Was it a saying of an old, wise family member, did you just think it up, or was it ME?????!!!!!!

    “No One Wants a Bone but Dog”???? What? I know where you got it from because the title doesn’t even have anything to do with the article.

    I wrote an article for FemmeNet back in 2004 (thank God it’s copyrighted) called “Don’t Nothin’ Want a Bone but a Dog.”

    I suppose your title is a coincidence, huh?

  6. First of all,I’m ONE black man who’d NEVER CONSIDER dating some fat broad.(or thick,or whatever euphemisms you chubbos use.)As a 56-
    year-old(July 6)who’s regarded by a lot of local-Windsor,Ont.,Can.
    ladies as a combination of a muscular,beefy-I’m 5’9”,214 lb.and
    built like a 70’s-or 80’s-era NFL running back-life-size Brad doll
    (From 1970-’72,when Mattel Toys inexplicably discontinued him,
    Brad was Barbie’s boyfriend Ken’s handsome black buddy)and a
    black cowboy,why should I even give a second look to a loud,obnox-
    ious,b***hy broad of ANY race,creed or colour?
    Also,save a VERY FEW exceptions which prove rather than refute
    the rule,these black men who have fat,fugly wives and/or girlfriends are NOT successful;name more than a handful of black
    boppers with obese partners.You can’t,so you Ruben Studdard-
    esque,5’4”.250+ blobbos should re-think your coupling possibil-
    ities and realize that you’re VASTLY UNLIKELY to snare a wealthy
    man of ANY ethnicity or group.

  7. very interesting

  8. Nobody wants a bone but a dog…AND HE WANTS A LITTLE BIT OF MEAT TOO!


  10. Dont sleep on the big girls we know how to carry our selves to be the women that any man would love to have on his arms.

  11. juse me,I happen to be a boyishly handsome black Canuck lad.WHY ON EARTH WOULD I EVEN GIVE A FAT BROAD LIKE YOU A FIRST,LET ALONE SECOND LOOK????


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