BBW Barbecue

BBW If there’s a term I find loaded and repulsive, it’s the abbreviation ‘BBW’.

For those unaware, the BBW stands for “Big Beautiful Woman.” I have no problem with the moniker itself (hey, who doesn’t want to be called beautiful?), but I’ve seen it used in so many unsavory ways that I have no choice but to condemn it.

First of all, BBW, as a text, looks large and in charge. I know this may sound strange, but the letter “B” just reminds me of…fat things. Perhaps it’s the fact that the letter letter, in capitals, has to large bulbs making up its entire body. It’s unappealing. Maybe it’s the fact that there are so many “fat” names that start with ‘B’, such as Bessie, Beulah, and Bertha, that the connotation alone is what turns me off. That there’s two of them doesn’t help. And don’t get me started on the idea of “W” (double you!)

Think of it – we’re being reduced to an ABBREVIATION! At least saying something like, “larger woman” still implies that there is a human being spoken about. Saying BBW is akin to talking about an object – a car, or a hamburger. “Have you see the new BBW series size 22x? It’s super rad! I’d like to drive that baby all night long!” “Man, I just ate that the new BBW, and boy did it taste fresh!” I mean, really!

Secondly, the term is used on so many porn sites (Tiava.com – a directory of porn sites) and social networking sites (Xpeeps.com - the “naked Myspace”) that just hearing or seeing the phrase “BBW” conjures disgusting images in my head of nude or semi-nude obese women busting out of their too-tight lingerie, mounds of fat and rolls of lard displayed for the whole world to see. And don’t make the mistake of typing the phrase into Google Image Search *shudders*.

This may sound offensive to these women, but I find the disrespect for their own bodies to be more offensive, as not only a woman, but a fat woman. There’s nothing wrong with a nude obese woman – just take a look at some ancient fertility statues:

fertility_goddess-2.jpgfertility_goddess.jpg

Or this painting by Baroque artist Peter Paul Rubens:

rubens-3.jpg

 

What I take umbrage at are photos like these:

bbw.jpg

It’s not that she’s fat. It’s that she’s degrading herself for money, or self-esteem, or whatever. I feel the same way about women like the Pussycat Dolls or Fergie. It’s not sexy – it’s repugnant. These women are flaunting a lack of values and a lack of self-respect.

So, by default, and ironically so, “BBW” translates to “disrespect.” Women who claim their BBW-ness are disrespecting themselves by connecting their identities to a phrase so tied in with depravity and lack of self-respect. Men (usually fetishists) who claim to love BBWs really love the sexual nature of the woman or her body, not for her confidence, tastes, or intelligence. They are disrespecting women by writing on someone’s Xpeeps wall “Hey you gorgeous BBW.” Blech. It’s as bad as saying, “Hey you gorgeous piece of meat.”

BBW might as well mean “Big Beastly Whore” as far as I’m concerned.

I will leave you with this song, “BBW Barbecue” by hip-hop trio The Chubby Chasers. I can’t honestly tell if their act and songs are a joke or not, but I believe the song will give some indication as to why I get so enraged and disgusted by “BBW”-ism. There is no doubt that I’d rather be called fat than a BBW.

~ by Rob Anne on April 12, 2007.

25 Responses to “BBW Barbecue”

  1. [...] so. First of all, it sounds almost identical to that empowering phrase you all know I just love, BBW. Secondly… the dolls themselves just are’t very attractive, at least not compared to [...]

  2. [...] brought to my attention over the past couple of years by a number of people, ranging from a (and I hate to use this term) BBW cousin of mine who swears that “fat chicks do it better,” to my best friend, whose [...]

  3. [...] It didn’t seem so at the time, but looking back to the eighties, Crawford and her ilk look positively BBW next to the constantly youngering and smallerifying models who would come to define the next [...]

  4. [...] It didn’t seem so at the time, but looking back to the eighties, Crawford and her ilk look positively BBW next to the constantly youngering and smallerifying models who would come to define the next [...]

  5. Personally… I don’t like that any woman would “sell” herself and be in porn.
    I don’t have a problem with the term BBW. Yeah… it’s used in porn sites but so is the word “teen” and I don’t have anything about being 18 and therefore a “teen”. Really… it’s all how the term is taken by the adressee. If you take BBW as a hateful term, then it’s obviously going to be bad for you.
    I use the term BBW for myself because I can’t find a better way to describe myself using the English language. Rubenesque, maybe. No, I would not rather be called fat. Many, MANY porn sites also use the term fat and many bad memories contain the term. Kids on the playground didn’t say: “Hey you! You’re such an ugly BBW!” They used fat, pig, cow, jellyroll, et cetera… At least BBW contains the word beautiful.
    I think the real challenge is to take the things used against us (larger women) and turn it into something we are not ashamed to hear… that way, we win and no matter what anyone says, we always win.

  6. I’m a feminist man who uses the BBW term in his blog and has never (until now) had any overweight woman display anger or unease at its usage. Since I love to admire zaftig women, am married to one and find them so appealing, I’m both disappointed and hurt by your position.

    When you say “It’s not that she’s fat. It’s that she’s degrading herself for money, or self-esteem, or whatever….” you’ve made a sweeping, value-laden, bourgeois indictment of someone you know nothing about aside from the fact that she’s fat and uses her body in a manner you find offensive.

    How do you know she’s “degrading herself?” Simply because her situation (pinup poster girl? porn actress?) appears degrading to you? What if she uses the lucrative proceeds to pay off her mortgage early or to help send a kid off to college? Those symbolize respectable values in this society, do they not? Won’t those acts actually empower her or her child in a far more immediate way than any liberal-leftist activist protest could?

    Incidentally, I think it’s worth noting that we’re in a war with people (Islamic terrorists) who show the same level of disgust that you do, but are disgusted with some aspect of YOUR identity.

    It doesn’t matter whether you’re wearing tight jeans in public or something as innocuous as a sleeveless blouse – they’d have you publicly whipped if they were in charge. Because, of course, they interpret Islam in the most righteous, holy and just manner that pleases God. And they cannot abide the lack of morality or self-esteem you’d show by dressing that way.

    Lastly, to dismiss men like me as “fetishists” is really missing the mark – and I’m aware that you used the adjective “usually” to qualify the labeling. Undoubtedly some ARE fetishists, but why try to demean a varied group of men with such a broad label? Do white American men who are highly attracted to slender blondes, now become “Barbie fetishists?” Come on!!

    And, why is it a BAD thing to praise, pursue or marry someone with a specific trait that you admire? Why can’t that be an essential part of the personality to the admirer? Along with intelligence, humor and everything else. If a good marriage should be one with strong sexual compatibility, and you’re a man who knows he derives great satisfaction from having sex with voluptuous, overweight women, why WOULDN’T you view women, especially future wives, through a BBW lens?

    I find your way of thinking so troubling, I just had to write this to vent. Thanks for reading.

  7. who is the lady in the red ? does anyone know and perhaps there are reasons for the picture?

  8. it is sexy

  9. Hi, I am a fairly big girl with one or two rolls that I have been taught to hate, I actually wish I could feel like a Big Beautiful Woman…..oh is that BBW! Well I never! If society wasn’t so close minded then maybe Big Women would feel better about themselves and I personally would go out more into the wide world if I didn’t get looked at as if I was gross! I actually think BBW is kind of nice and if someone called me a BBW instead of a fat cow or fat bitch …..I’d rather like it! Just to make a fairly good point, I could out run, out swim, basically out exercise more than half the skinny people on my estate, because a person may think I am abusing my body some how by being fat, but I don’t drink, don’t smoke and don’t eat fried food! So to all the snobby skinny people who are repulsed by fat people, I hope for your sake you don’t have stale alcohol breath or faggy breath cos then your figure won’t get you very far either!

    Thanks xx

  10. Isn’t it amazing that with all of the issues facing us as a people. a nation and as individuals that we are still debating terms for women who are “overweight”? I don’t care if you call me something as PC as larger woman, plus size, BBW or fluffy. What I do care about is that you don’t make the mistake of thinking I am my weight. I am college educated, intelligent, funny and “awesome” as my teenagers put it. I am more than the sum of my parts, as are you. I am no more offended by the term “BBW” than I am by the term “fat-girl.” I am what I am and if I am not comfortable with it, than isn’t it up to me to change it? Stop spending so much time worrying about a label. I for one would love to spend more time worrying about my child’s future or the state of our nation or even, God forbid, religion! Call me what you will, but know that I am strong enough, intelligent enough and wise enough to know the difference!

  11. Wow. My first encounter with the term BBW was in BBW Magazine in the late 80s and early 90s, founded by Carole Shaw. It was Mode with actual FAT CHICKS in the photos and a hell of a lot more attitude. Of course it’s out of business now. BBW was sassier than Radiance (also defunct).

    (Yes, children, fat acceptance existed waaaay back then!)

  12. what I don’t understand is how you can go on and on about large women who degrade themselves, mention fergie and the pussycatdolls, but not mention once how degrading porn stars are to themselves. It’s not degrading, it’s a living. it’s being a whore. big girls can be whores too.

  13. My! My! What a lot of heat over three initials! When I founded Big Beautiful Woman Magazine in 1978 I chose the term because I thought it was a powerful and positive answer to “Fat & Ugly.” We later changed the name to BBW because it fit better on the cover. We never dreamed it would become an actual “word.” But in retrospect- why not?

    It conveyed a “new “ type of self-respect to we who were called many names, which did not induce self-respect and self-love. That’s why BBW Magazine lasted for 23 years

    We were not the slickest of magazines on the stand but we were surely amongst the most honest and caring. And certainly the first in the world that said out loud and in upper case letters: BEAUTY COMES IN ALL SIZES and YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE A SIZE NINE TO BE A VAULABLE, BEAUTIFUL OR ATTRACTIVE PERSON. ( Gosh! we thought size 9 was small in those days! We hadn’t even heard of size 2 and 0!)

    I, too, am saddened when women of any size ,fat or thin, pose for pictures or take part in activities that demean them and minimize their humanity. But this has nothing to do with Fat Hate but rather with the trivialization of Women,.

    Is Fat Prejudice and self- hate gone from our world? No, it’s not. Have we made a few strides toward that end in the last 29 years? I think so. For every woman who has ever called herself a BBW or a Big, Beautiful Woman, instead of Fat & Ugly, and realized that she deserved to be treated with respect, courtesy, love and appreciation, it makes me very proud to have spent those years promoting that concept.

    Yours truly,
    Carole Shaw

  14. неплохая мысль +1

  15. i thought that the semi nude girl in red is hott and i would bang her any day!

  16. Wow!! I think you’re seeing all the negative in the acronym, BBW. It does mean Big, Beautiful Woman but where is there any wrong in the term. The women posing nude may be degrading themselves but they are grown women posing nude or half naked by choice. No different than any stripper or lawyer regardless of physical size. Adults choose to do things, as a society, we have allowed a lot to permeate into the mainstream of today. But lets not crucify the Big Girl, who is confident and proud of herself despite the obvious imperfections that others may not like. As a BBW admirer, I am very pleased to see a women with confidence and high self esteem. It doesnt matter if she s a BBW or not because there are several physically fit women in the world whose self esteem is non existent. And thats a much bigger problem.

  17. [...] really figured out what bugged me about the acronym and its slumming on the internet until I read this post from Curvature. (Link mildly NSFW) … “BBW” translates to “disrespect.” Women who claim their BBW-ness [...]

  18. Words and Language, funny things. Timely things. I type or say the word ‘Gay’ and there are several connotations that can be connected to that word. 60 years ago virtually NONE of them would have been good. 40 years ago it was almost completely reclaimed by the LGBT community as a term of self identification and now it seems to have lost some ground. Kids calling each other ‘gay’ as a way to convey weakness or limp wristed failure.

    ‘Fat’ is another word that, I think, is going through some changes. ‘Chubby’, ‘zaftig’ ‘fluffy’, ‘big’, ‘big-boned’, ‘overweight’, all of these terns have been used by and for people who tend towards adipose as descriptors and there are problems with each. ‘Chubby’ might describe some one 20 or 25 pound heavier than the ‘norm’ but someone 50 to 100? Not so much. The same goes for ‘zaftig’ and in some cases ‘fluffy’. There are those who would be absolutely mortified at being described as ‘big’ or ‘big-boned’. And, as for ‘overweight’? Well, by now I’m sure we know the problem with that (Over WHO’S weight? My weight is my weight. I’m not over or under any standard that means anything to ME). Which, I think, is why ‘fat’ is making a resurgence. The fat community is reclaiming it’s most accurate descriptor. And that’s what all these terms are really; descriptors. Even BBW. And, as the NRA is so fond of saying, they are just tools who’s use is entirely dependent upon the user.

    Useful things. Necessary things in this, text driven, world of the interwebs.
    I happen to be a BHM n2 BBW’s (BHM = Big Handsome Man). If you can find a more efficient way to express this via text, please let me know.

    As for the fetish issue, I usually have one question in response to that every time it comes up; Why does it ALWAYS have to be a fetish?

  19. you made me sad because I’m a fattie and I just happen to have been named a big fat name like BETH from my parents. Meany.

  20. Приветствую! Нельзя ли ссылками с вами обменяться?

  21. Познавательно! Все бы так писали :)

  22. BBW is disgusting…me and friends watched one of these videos….almost puked

  23. I love bbw

  24. send me some porn videos and i will send u mine

  25. Actually no matter if someone doesn’t understand then its up to other users that they will help, so here it takes place.

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