More Cushion for the Pushin’

Mia Tyler I’ve heard this rumor time and time again, and you might have, too.

Apparently, fat women are supposed to be freaks in the bedroom.

It’s just a thing you hear around, an urban legend, like the myth that men with large hands and feet are supposed to have proportional genitalia, or that Jews are supposedly cheap. It has been brought to my attention over the past couple of years by a number of people, ranging from a (and I hate to use this term) BBW cousin of mine who swears that “fat chicks do it better,” to my best friend, whose cousin claims that “only the fat chicks get action” on his campus (University of Maryland at College Park, by the way.)

Does this come as a surprise to you? I mean, heavy women are most often portrayed as gluttonous or just plain obsessed with food. They usually come across comically, even absurdly, voracious, with a deep-seated hunger. Sometimes a hunger for food, other times a hunger for sex.

The same way they clamor for gastronomic satisfaction, they hunt for sexual gratification. Some may dismiss the offensiveness of this pairing by chalking up the correlation between food and sex in portrayals of fat women as just being a natural tie-in of two basic needs that are intrinsic for our survival. (Though, funny, I never see fat chicks depicted with a particular craving for sleep…go figure.) I, on the other hand, find it absolutely ridiculous. Just take this Doritos commercial featured during Super Bowl XLI this past January (and thanks to Objectify This for bringing it to my attention.)

So, besides the whole “insatiable appetite” hypothesis, I’ve heard another theory as to why fat chicks are supposedly so good/exuberant in the bedroom:

They’re desperate.

Apparently, it is so rare for heavy ladies get any action in the sack, and especially rarer that they will be able to find a good-looking guy willing to be with them, all their energy builds and builds until they become ravenous for sex, and sex with anyone.

Another way to think of it is that because it is “so difficult for them” to find sexual satisfaction, they need to (literally) jump on whatever they can get. This is exemplified in one scene from the cult classic teen comedy Road Trip (2000), in which a virile heavyset African American woman (I won’t even get into the implications of race and sexuality in this one) seduces a young nerdy virgin.

So, as you can see, popular culture does indeed provide evidence towards this long-held myth of fat female sexuality. So what is the truth?

Well, according to this article from Dimensions Magazine, heavier women are actually more likely than anything to be timid in the bedroom, not bold, because of “fear of rejection, fear of not meeting the partner’s expectations, and fear of not being able to perform.” Thought it’s a bitter pill to swallow and something that needs to change, this view of fat female sexuality seems much more valid and realistic than the idea that heavy women are like modern-day versions of satyrs trying to chase down and assault any available man as thought he were a ripe young sylvan maiden.

Again, I’m not condoning that women should feel anxiety when it comes to intimacy, I’m just reinforcing that this feeling or attitude is probably much more common than that of, “anywhere, anytime, anyone.”

Finally, so far, the only real-life support I’ve found that may provide evidence towards the truth of this stereotype comes from this article by Dr. Ian Klein of overweightdate.com, which suggests that there may be a biological basis for the idea that larger women get more enjoyment out of and thus seek sex. It seems plausible enough, but the science of this is so new and questionable that I can’t make a claim one way or the other to whether these findings are more accurate or speculatory. I suppose time will tell.

With that, I leave you with the most famous example of naughty thick women in the media, Queen’s “Fat-Bottomed Girls”, a song that has no doubt become an anthem for heavy women everywhere who wish to flaunt their sexiness and their curves (without, of course, becoming cartoonish stereotypes of sex-crazed fatties.)

Enjoy!

~ by Rob Anne on May 2, 2007.

35 Responses to “More Cushion for the Pushin’”

  1. Fat Bottomed Girls: BEST SONG EVER!

    “Fat bottomed girls, you make the rockin’ world go roooound…”

  2. Wow, this post is great… I feel like being a curvy girl is hard in every way. They don’t want you to dress like the “average” woman, your not suppose to be with someone and if your good looking, you would look better if you lost weight. I think that sexually men crave us they maybe not be running to tell the world. But they want a curvy girl. I’m married and my husband loves every ounce of me…… And I think the hardest part is loving ourselves first once we love who were are inside and out what other people say shouldn’t matter.

    Love,
    Truly Curvaceous

  3. Even with my rudimentary knowledge of how hormones work, I feel like I can say that Watson’s new research probably will not hold. First of all, a correlation between endorphins and extra fat? Every single time I’ve heard of endorphins, it’s always about how exercise will make you feel happy because it releases endorphins. And I’m pretty sure I’ve read something before about how leptin is linked to depression, which I’m pretty is more common among fat people. And that would only be a downer in terms of libido. So that’s my little rant.

    And, wow.. that video is so 70s/80s.

  4. NOTHING WRONG WITH A MEATY WOMAN. SOME GUYS LIKE THEM SKINNY I PREFER A GIRL WITH SOME MEAT ON HER.

  5. It’s a stereotype…and like every stereotype, you can find examples to “prove” it, and find examples to “disprove” it. I agree with the possible reasonings you listed as to why fat women may be more sexually promiscuous.

    1.) As with ANY (typically young) female who has self-esteem issues, you know a friend, or you are, or you see in the movies, they end up being the one that sleeps around, trying to convince themselves they’re accepted, or well-liked, etc. And we all know that fat girls often end up in the low self-esteem category.

    2.) Some desperate hormonal guys, find that if they need it bad enough, they know they’ll never get turned down by the fat girl, b/c she’d be lucky to have him…obviously I don’t beleive this to be true, but it appears to be true, b/c often times our low self-esteemers give into this. And let’s not forget the “porking game” guys have craeted, where a bunch of buddies put money in the pot, for whoever screws the biggest girl at the party that night.

    3.) Anyone who has a specific preference for what they find physically attractive, is almost always going to argue “they’re better in bed”, and that sort of makes sense. If you have a thing for blonde fatties, you’re probably not going to enjoy an intimate night with a skinny redhead as much, b/c of the preconcevied notions you’ve created for yourself.

    4.) It definitely goes back to fat girls are always “hungry for food” so they also must maintain a “hunger for sex.” Haven’t you heard the phrase, “Big girls give good head?” well that’s b/c fat girls appearantly love nothing more than “eating” things in their mouth.

  6. My greatest sexual experiences have been with large women.To me they are more feminine and more sensual than skinny women.I have found them to be more confident and more giving sexaually than their counterparts.

  7. God this is so true!!! I went from a size 3 (pre-baby) to a size 16… i know i know. I get more attention in the positive way than i did then even though I had better self esteem then.

  8. I’ve heard that whole “large women are better in the bed” thing for a while. from my personal experience that is true. Have discused this with a friend who told me its because large ladies are more willing to try different naughty things then thin girls to try to keep the man cuming back (pun intended).

    but i have found that the big girls tend to be more shy in the sack at first, untill they realized that you LOVE their bodies.

    though not scientific at all, just pure personal observation. but i would have to go with the curver girls over playboy magizine’s plastic girls.

  9. thick woman are more sexier ,there is more to love and hold than a thin boney woman.

  10. Renea nga Prishtina une jom naughty

  11. Full is the way a figure SHOULD be. Im not sure when the body of a 14 year old boy with boobs became the ideal for female beauty, or how seeing a womans rib cage became sexy. For me curves and a soft form has always been what makes a woman beautiful. Most women simply look better heavier. There are a few women that are ment to be a size 5, but most are ment to be a size 10 or more & would be sexier if they were. The best looking female bodies Ive seen were sizes 14 to 18.

  12. I’ve heard the same about heavy women but I assumed it’s because they’re happy, confident, and comfortable with themselves, despite their weight not being socially acceptable.

  13. Why do we only get fuckin credit for good sex. Why cant we get credit for being beautiful like these toothpick bitches? Fuck you assholes. Listen to the hungry bitches stomach growl. How fuckin sexy. Kill yourself.

  14. Enjoyed this post so much! Interesting comments also.

  15. Fat chicks need lovin’ too, they’ve just gotta pay for it.

  16. I agree with the poster who asked why larger women don’t get credit for other things!

    It seems to me that plus sized women are thought to be good cooks (because we’re all so hungry all the time – der), lazy (because we OBVIOUSLY don’t exercise – a lie!) and good in bed (because we never get laid so we have to take what we can get and the only way to keep the guy is to be good in bed because men are so shallow they only like a woman if she’s hot or good at sex – all lies!).

    I’m really sick of people and their stupid perceptions. We’re just as good as any one else – probably better because many of us have to work harder to get where we want to be. And for another thing – I’m a good cook, yes, but I do not eat all the time. I don’t eat as much as most of my skinny friends. And I don’t think about food all the time either. I’m not lazy. I spend my days chasing after a 14 month old which is a work out! As for the other….well, that’s for me to know! ;)

  17. I totally agree with this article. I believe it is a stereotype because low self-esteem comes in all shapes, sizes, and colors. It doesn’t matter who you are, or who you’re with, it’s all about how you feel about yourself.

  18. Ha I am “fat” chick and yeah I get a lot of sex with my husband but I never had a problem in getting sex. I never took up every offer and yes i turned down a lot of good looking men infact strange to say every guy I been with was very handsome and sexy and they kept coming back for more hey my husband is an actor :P. I never had any issues and I am not a pig either Im lucky i get to eat once since my job is so high demand i work in a hospital as a head nurse and im always running around i sit maybe if im lucky an hour tops and I work 12 hours easily so when i get home I shower, and go to bed I might watch house lol If i do find time to eat im getting a egg sandwich from a coffee shop and a coffee then im off. So when it come to your argument I find it very false, and the info was very rushed and one sided. So please take another look into it and interview some people don’t be so one sided when my friend told me about this and how one sided it was I just decide to take a look and i did and wow you are very one sided and I do not know if you rushed it or you are just trying to sound smart ( not a diss!) I was just confused on that part

  19. Heyy… im a “fat” girl too.. and i love to hv sex… and man had told me that im the best lover they had… so!.. WE ROCK!!!…
    we are better than skinny girls… because we are more confident more careless.. we hv more love to give… the thing is.. that here in MEXICO ppl reject u because ur fat.. which i think its not fair.. we have the same RIGHTS!!…

  20. I just thought this article was funny. I’m a “fat” girl and I wasn’t offended by it. I just enjoyed it for what it was. And if us fat girls really are better lovers, go us! There’s nothing wrong with naturally thin women just like there’s nothing wrong with us naturally thick girls. It’s the ones that live their life to be thin that I’ve got a problem with.

  21. I am 300+lbs and i am a lady. i get hit on and asked out all the time, even with my husband of 6yrs present. I am just a beauitful girl i guess ( even if i dont see it) my point is that some men are just interested in large girls. I go to the gym every day and run on the treadmil for an hour, i dont eat any more then 2000 calories a day or less. but i cant lose the weight. so before you skinny bitches judge us walk a mile in our shoes, because most of us are “fat” chicks s are dying to walk a mile in yours. Literally!!!!

  22. Hmm…you don’t want anyone to judge you but you’re calling thinner women “skinny bitches”.

    How very classy and open-minded of you. *sarcasm*

    When will some of you bigger ladies realize that when you make demeaning comments about thinner women, you only sound jealous and hateful?
    ALL women have issues with their bodies…don’t assume that because someone is thin, she is either anorexic or a bitch who hates you because you’re fat.

    Love yourselves and allow other people to be who they are. Live your life. Stop judging and bashing naturally thin women who are probably not even focused on what you eat or what you wear. I’m thinner than most of you and I will assure you that my time is better spent on activities like helping an illiterate person learn to read or traveling with my husband.

    I honestly do not care about another woman’s size, because I am not a shallow person.
    There are thinner women out there who are actually caring and sensitive individuals but you all are so busy bashing us for being a size 4 or 6 that you won’t give us a chance.

    When will you learn that there are different types of people in this world? Just because some thin people can be unkind, does not mean that we all are.

    Think about it.

  23. By the way…I’m painfully aware of fat discrimination. I know that there is no excuse for the way big people are treated. I know that there are wonderful, creative, beautiful people who happen to be big.

    But I also know that it goes both ways.

  24. I am a curvy girl myself, and get no complaints from my husband. My self-esteem issues come from a variety of factors not just my body.
    I agree with “Well, Well, Well” though. Curvy girls are quick to say things about other people passing comments – I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve heard “are you sure you want to eat that?”, but they are also sometimes the first to call skinny girls bitches, or anorexic.
    If we don’t want judgements made on us, then we should lead by example and be accepting of others.

  25. I feel like all the curvy/big/fat (use whichever adj you want) are all married and taken.

    Well I’m a fat girl, and I’m not married. And yeah, it sucks. I hate being fat. I know that I’ll never get below a size 16 even if I try, but I also know I’ll always want to be. At 250lbs, I’m bigger than my mom, bigger than pretty much everyone I know. I just gotta say its hard being a bigger girl, and I definitely have self esteem issues. Even when I hear that there are guys out there who like bigger women, I never seem to meet any. Seems like it was a joke meant to torment me, I feel like i’ll never find anyone :(

    • My Girl is Big. Bigger than me…and she’s so fucking sexy that way. it just looks and feels right, like god ment her to be. woman is curves, big women do curves well…but, my girl has self confidence issues around her weight, she’s working out and loosing weight and i’m so proud of her, i want her to see herself as being beautiful, like i see her. i’d liek to say to people like the girl above..that soem guys do actualy like bigger women..but more than that…some guys are not as shalow as to go by looks alone. my girl is my partner, best friend, soul mate at twin. we are to be married soon. regardless of what the scales in the bathroom say. best of luck all. look for the guy with just as much broken shit, maybe your ment ofr eachother.

    • Maybe you rarely meet them, but there’s millions of men who just love a fat girl. My wife is big, i love her all the more for it.
      I couldn’t get excited for a skinny girl.

  26. I think there is a facet of the idea that fat women are seen as desperate which you have missed.

    There is the opposite stereotype, which I have personally encountered through friends’ accounts, that many attractive women just lie still on their backs (‘wet fish syndrome’)and don’t do any work in the bedroom because they are ‘resting on their laurels’ ie. they don’t have to try to please men because they are so hot and that’s enough; men always come to them. In contrast, fat women, who, for obvious reasons, can feel unattractive, try harder to please their partners in bed because they feel that purely physically they are not adequate sexually. So maybe a lot of fat women are actually better in bed for this reason and there is some truth to the stereotype, though not attributable to either the ‘appetite’ or ‘desperate’ theories which you write about.

  27. Its true! Big girls just do it better!

  28. KaylaNarie, I am a 35 y.o. white guy that is 6’4″ & 219lbs. and I LOVE Big gals or laege ladies or hefty honeys or BBWs or FAT chicks or whatever you call them!!! My ex-girlfriend dumped me 3 weeks ago, so I’m looking…

  29. I’m in the swinging lifestyle. I can tell you that fat chicks are da bom when it comes to getting freaky and swinging … bisexual, orgies, gangbangs, lesbian … they just love to fuck. I think it’s because they were fat little girls and the only way they could get attention, back then, was to be sluts. It’s still true. A man with a fat wife can usually easily convince her to let another couple join them. You see, a man will fuck anything. So, fat girl starts getting loads of dick, while hubby starts getting loads of pussy … it’s fat pussy, but hell, it’s still pussy. The sluttier his fat whore wife is, the more pussy he gets. It works out well for everyone.

  30. Speaking of big girl sexy anthems, don’t forget the AC/DC song “Whole Lotta Rosie.”

  31. As a skinny guy I love Big and Beautiful ladies. They have the best hearts, aren’t hung up on themselves, and yes, they are wonderful in bed.

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